Nightmares
by Gelly Bean
Summary: When the past comes back to haunt Remus will Tonks be able to bring him back to reality, or will she lose him and herself to his nightmares? (set OoTP)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Unexpected Visitors

"I said no, Sirius!" Molly shrieked, rising abruptly from her chair at the other end of the long table, her hands clenched into tight fists. She faced the group of three _so-called_ adults and four desperate looking teenagers, two of who were her own children. It was four days before her youngest son Ron was due to celebrate his fifteenth birthday, and a certain moronic individual, who Molly strongly suspected went by the name of Sirius Black, had suggested that they should all bundle themselves off to the Cannon's Quidditch stadium to watch Ron's favourite team play. The debate...alright then, _argument_, had been raging in the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place for some half an hour already, and Molly was starting to get tired of it.

She was not being _harsh_, as they had put it, she was simply just trying to looking out for them all.

"Oh come on Molly! It's just a bit of fun!" Sirius complained wearily, slumping further down into his chair. He was getting quite tired of this conversation - it had been dragged out for far too long!

Molly looked livid. Of course she should have known Sirius bloody Black would be behind this, but she had been astounded when Remus and Tonks had turned against her too. After all, Remus especially was supposed to be the sensible one of the group!  
She was also running out of things to say against the idea. They seemed to have thought of everything! How to get there, how to keep everyone safe, and they had even found a way to get Sirius (a falsely accused criminal on the run) to be able to go too!

For all these brilliant ideas she assumed she could thank Remus for. She glared at him. To her further irritation, Tonks would not stop reminding her about the tickets. Every time Molly looked her way, the Auror would wave the sparkly tickets at her, with a meaningful look upon her heart-shaped face. It was obvious that Tonks had gone to a lot of effort to get them; nevertheless they were driving Molly insane!

Remus practically had to force down sigh of frustration, it had been at least an hour and she still hadn't backed down. He had been completely amazed that she had not crack after having to put up with Ron following her around the house asking her every few minutes if he could go to the match that of course was another of Sirius' 'brilliant' plans. But to be honest, even he'd not expected it to be this much of a struggle.

He longed for his nice and comfy bed. Full moon was in the next few days and his exhaustion was showing pretty bad, but he had to stay awake for Ron's sake. Besides, this wasn't just a birthday present for Ron, it was a chance for Sirius to get out of the house before it drove him insane, even if it was only a Chudley Cannons Quidditch game.

Molly looked up at all the pleading faces opposite her and finally admitted to herself that she could not say no any longer. It was her son's birthday gift after all...

Her shoulders slumped, admitting defeat.

"It would be cruel not to let you go, really." she admitted, causing their faces light up instantly and their cheers to fill the room. "But," she added sternly, "Remus, you're in charge! I want them back in one piece!" She was forced to shout, in order to be heard over their cheering.  
"You have my word," Remus said assured her, with a smile.  
"Right you lot!" Sirius cried, clapping his hands together and rising from his chair. "Next Wednesday it is then! Be here at 8 o'clock!"

It was five minutes to eight on the night of the Quidditch match and everyone was gathered in the low-lit kitchen. Tonks was sporting bright, orange hair along with big earrings with the letter 'C' on them. Remus wore his old bomber jacket, which he had acquired years ago after helping Alastor on some missions.

Even though the full moon had only been last night, Remus had banished his exhaustion from his mind and to his delight he had one arm wrapped around Tonks' waist; they were playing husband and wife for the evening. A huge black dog lay at their feet and all four teens had Chudley Cannons t-shirts on.

Remus smiled to himself as he remembered how she had practically read his mind; _"So I was thinking," Tonks announced from her position perched upon the table, swinging her legs back and forth as she spoke. "We should go to the match in disguise. You know, for security and stuff." _

_It was an idea that Mad-Eye Moody would have been proud of, Remus mused as he reached to rub the fatigue from his eyes, or at least it would have been had Tonks not sounded so very excited by it, as if it were some sort of game. _

_"What did you have in mind?" he asked her, both intrigued and yet rather apprehensive at the same time. _

_"Well..." Tonks began, pausing to slide from her perch and onto her feet, grinning in what Remus thought was a rather alarming fashion. "How'd you feel about posing as a married couple for the evening?" _

_Remus was not entirely sure how to answer this question, he was far too preoccupied with the sudden flood of colour that was no doubt blooming upon his cheeks. It was not long, however, before a voice in the back of his head demanded loudly: SAY YES! For the love of Merlin, say yes!_

_"Yes." Remus said, quickly adding, "That...that sounds like a good idea to me." _

_Sirius sniggered and the werewolf instantly shot him a warning look. But really, Remus mused, who actually cared what Sirius thought? This could quite possibly be the best night out he'd had in years…_

The group chatted amongst themselves until eight, when the floo network would be engaged. Remus looked at his watch and saw that it was exactly eight.

"Right everyone, listen up!" he called, trying to be the sane adult of the group. "Tonks is going to go first, and then the teens, then Sirius and I will be right behind you. Everyone got that?"  
Everyone nodded. Tonks stepped towards the fireplace, grin already on her face.

"See you in a minute!" she called over her shoulder, before she picked up a hand full of powder and flung it in to the fire. Flames erupted around her and she was gone. The teens quickly followed suit.

"Right Padfoot, are you ready to go outside?" Remus asked the dog as he reached down to take hold of his collar but quickly ceased his movements as his vision burred and a searing pain in this forehead began to burn he stumbled forward, only just catching himself before he hit the floor.

Tha dog barked in alarm at the sight of his friend

"Remus waved him away "it's ok, I just took a bit of a beating last night" The dog looked at him sadly. Ignoring the pain he grasped the collar and flung the floo powder into the fireplace.

When Remus' feet slammed down onto the soft, muddy ground he almost lost his balance again, but just about managed to stay standing. He silently cursed the moon and the power it held over him, wishing at least that it didn't have to make him feel so feeble. Letting go of Sirius he stood up straight the cool air gently soothing his aching head. As soon as Sirius was free he bounded around the group, barking and wagging his tail happily he still couldn't believe he was finally outside.  
They were surrounded by hundreds of tiny groups of witches and wizards. Some were chanting, singing songs, and waving flags, whilst others sent huge fireworks streaking up into the air, lighting up the black sky in an array of glittering sparks and shooting stars that shone a fiery orange for the Cannons Quidditch team. The atmosphere was exhilarating.

Remus couldn't stop smiling at the scene before him, and the match hadn't even started! He hadn't felt this alive since Lily and James.

"Right Tonks my dear, lead the way!" he instructed cheerfully, throwing his arm out towards the maze of little groups.

Tonks shrieked with excitement, grabbing him and Ron by their sleeves before running full speed into the crowd.

"THIS WAY!" she cried, "I got us ace seats! Cost me an arm and a leg! But that doesn't matter..."

As they entered the brightly lit stadium a wizard checking the tickets cried "Oh if it isn't Nymhpadora!"

From across the room, Remus' gaze came to rest upon the man who had spoken. He had short brown hair and a stubbly chin. Remus wondered when he had last bothered to have a shave.

Tonks' face fell, but she forced a smile back onto her face before spinning around and going towards the scruffy looking stranger.

"Mike!" she greeted him with a strained smile. The man was wearing black Auror robes with three gold stars stitched onto one arm.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her, propping himself up against the wall, crossing his arms and smirking down at her, even though they were almost the same height.

"Oh, I see you _finally _made Auror," he noticed before she could answer, looking down at her red Auror coat. "Still haven't made three stars yet though, have you Nymhpadora?" he added smugly.  
"I'm here to watch the Quidditch, I thought that was obvious!" Tonks told him irritably "And no, I haven't got my stars yet." Her hair flashed red and her hands clenched in to fists as he continued to smirk at her.  
Harry noticed Tonks from the other end of the room; she seemed to be pretty angry at what Mike was saying.

"Erm... Remus...I think Tonks is about to smack that guy in the face" Harry mumbled to Remus under his breath, looking worriedly at the scarlet haired Auror.  
Remus, who had been too busy looking over his shoulder looking out for danger to notice, turned to see what Harry was talking about.

Sure enough, Tonks looked like she could kill the man in question within seconds! Remus readied himself for any furious attack she might decide to launch – at least he could drag her away from the man.  
"Is everything alright Dora?" he asked, reaching to wrap his arm around her and gave the man a warning glance what on earth had the man said to get her this upset? He had to get her away from this man before she loaded her guns as the Muggles would say

"It's just that we have to get going, the match is about to start." He explained trying to inject calm in to the situation. He began to pull her away, but the stranger's next words stopped him.  
"Oh Nymhpadora, got yourself a boyfriend, have you?" Mike asked smugly, looking Remus up and down, a snide look upon his face.

Before Tonks could say anything Remus answered for her: "Yes, she has. Is that a problem?" Remus asked mildly mock confusion on his face (just to annoy the man) Auror or not, Mike had no right to be so rude!

"Oh, Tonks, I see your boyfriend likes to think he's an Auror! Well he's obviously not one!" Mike said, glaring at his old jacket, "You know they stopped making those about ten years ago."  
Remus clenched his hand into a fist until his knuckles were white as not to punch this guy in the face there and then.

It was almost fifteen years since he had signed up for missions with the Auroras. Of course, he would never have gotten to do any of them if Alastor had not threaded to resign, if they did not accept him. However, naturally when Alastor retired a few years later they did kick him out but not before he had been awarded his stars, and that was all that mattered to him. Furthermore, once he was in it was easier. Sure, it took at bit of time to be accepted, but once he had shown his worth, most of them did come to like him. He had nothing to live for at the time, so he did the jobs gits like Mike, did not want. The number of times he had almost died, the number of bodies he had carried home, their faces still haunted him. He should have been able to save them but he had been too weak, too exhausted, if something happened it would always seem to be the night after the full moon.

He was pulled back to the present when Tonks exploded: "How dare you talk to Remus like that! You have no idea what he's done!"

Remus smiled to himself she didn't have to defend him and yet she was.

Of course, she also was completely clueless about his past, Remus recalled, but he did not remind her of this fact.

He had never told anyone about these demons in his past. Nevertheless, Tonks carried on with her ranting.

"He has risked his life whilst you were tucked up in bed, drinking hot milk!" She raged, reaching for Remus' arm. Remus tried to calm her down "Dora, please don't, it doesn't matter, calm down..."

But, naturally, Tonks ignored him. She gripped hold of his arm and thrust his star covered sleeve at the man.

Why had I worn this jacket? Remus asked himself. A little voice in his head, that sounded very like Sirius to answered, _to_ _impress Tonks, you moron._ Mike visibly stiffened; looking both shocked and embarrassed and looked for the first time at Remus' scared face, obviously assuming they were battle scars and picturing the horrors those blue tired eyes had seen.

Oh why didn't the ground swallow him right now if the world was being nice that would have happened But of course, the ground remained solid and embarrassment washed over him every second stood in this man's presence was torture. Before Tonks could punch the Auror in the face, he dragged her past Mike and into the stadium.

The game had been going on for a while now and the teens were still faithfully cheering on their team, even though the Cannons were losing miserably. However with the wards Tonks had designed Sirius could at least be in human form.

As good as the game was, Remus and Sirius had given up cheering once Remus had remembered that he had brought some Fire Whiskey with him.

They had settled themselves in some comfortable club chairs in the corner of the room, somewhere discreet to enjoy their secret stash. Tonks meanwhile had bet Sirius that she could cover all three walls of their box with homemade Chudley Cannons posters. Surprisingly, to his annoyance, she had managed it.  
"Ten gallons please, Sirius!" she asked smugly, waving her hand in front of his face. Before reaching for his wallet, Sirius looked around the room. Every scrap of wallpaper was covered in orange paper, apart from the huge window that looked out onto the match.

"Well done Tonks. Here then, as promise..." He upturned the contents of his wallet into her open hands.

"Beautiful!" she exclaimed, shoving the money into her back pocket. Then she dropped down into the remaining chair and reached for the bottle of whiskey.

"So..." she stared at her two friends in front of her, both staring glumly at their glasses. Since neither of them had taken up her offer of a conversation she began with the question she had wanted to ask all evening.

"Remus, are you going to tell me how you got your stars?" She asked sweetly.

Remus laughed, he loved how she was always so forward about everything.  
"No," he replied, causing to her face fall. He had never said no to her before. He grinned at her expression. "Let me finish! I cannot tell you-" it was too terrible to tell and besides he would not do in comrade's justice. He stuttered those years would haunt him for the rest of his life. "But, I could show you."  
"Really?" Tonks' face lit up happily she always won when it came to Remus.  
"Yes, but not now, later." he replied, downing his full glass and sinking back into his chair before closing his eyes at least he could get some much needed sleep.

"Do you want a game of exploding snap, Tonks?" Sirius asked, pulling out a pack of cards from the bag at his feet.

"Yeah, okay then." Tonks replied, dragging her eyes away from the man in front of her to look at Sirius and the pack of cards.

Twenty minutes later Tonks and Sirius had given up with exploding snap and had begun cheering for their team again. The Cannons had taken back the lead at last.

All of a sudden, Remus' eyes snapped open as he smelt something that had not been there a moment beforehand. Something that only a werewolf would recognize...

As the all too familiar scent assaulted his nostrils, Remus felt a sense of dread creeping over him. He immediately jumped up and started to throw things back into Tonks' bag. Sirius turned around at the sudden noise.

"What you doing, Remus?" he asked, instantly worried. He knew his friend would not act like this unless something was very wrong...  
"We have to go!" Remus announced hurriedly.

"But the Cannons are..." Tonks began, only for Remus to shout her down.  
"Now, Tonks! Greyback's here! And Greyback means Death Eaters!" And with that he hurriedly swung the bag up onto his back and drew his wand.

In the distance Remus heard a faint pop and another and another and again…

* * *

woop hope you liked it ill get the next chapter up soon please review and tell me what you think =)

note- sorry about a few little coments that popped up (helps when im writing) i thought id got rid of them anyway all gd now

review! please it will make my day


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Not as young as I use to be **

Remus jumped the stairs two at a time, his wand out ready for an attack. Why did it have to be Greyback? Why not someone else?

Sure, any Death Eater could kill you, but he could take your life away! Remus could smell Tonks' perfume behind him. If he hurt her, if he bit her Remus dread to think her life would be over her beautiful, colourful spirit broken. _What would I do without that colour in my life?_ No, Greyback was the one who could really hurt Remus, and he knew it, too.

As they reached the bottom of the stairs and dashed down the corridor, Remus came to a sudden halt, pressing his ear against the door to the entrance hall. He listened for any sign of life and heard a distant heartbeat. He let the wolf take over his senses so he could that hear more clearly all other sounds were muffled only the heart beat rang out clear his ears that advantage he could only thank one person for.

Tonks watched as his eyes slowly turned from blue to amber, before he signaled for them to stay put and be quiet. Then, carefully pulling the door open, he crept out into the entrance hall.  
Seconds later, there came an almighty _crash_! A minute or so passed before Remus' head popped back around the door, he looked distinctly relieved.

"Ok, come on" he whispered, as his eyes shifting back to their usual blue. He then slipped back through the door, allowing the others to follow him. Before anyone could ask about the boy, tied to a chair he answered there questions "Probably hasn't even finished school yet, this one,"

Remus continued to walk towards the entrance door as the others stared at the boy on the floor.  
"Ah," the Remus growled with satisfaction, "I haven't played this game in ye-" T_his is not a game!_ Remus hissed to the animal in his mind, pushing it to the back of his mind as he quickly retook control. Remus quickly looked around if anyone had heard the beast, noticing that Tonks' looked quite alarmed and quickly diverted her gaze. Remus quietly sighed to himself, _Stupid animal! _He thought running a hand through his hair as he tried to think of a way to fix things.

He turned to her, his eyes suddenly his natural blue, "Look," he told her, "you can apparated out as soon as you cross the doors. Take them back to Grimmauld Place and stay there." he hoped he didn't sound anything like the manic from before.

"Are you joking What about you? We're not just leaving you!" Tonks began, her eyes set alight at the confrontation.

He couldn't look at her eyes he knew he would crumble and let her stay and fight; instead he turned back towards the glass door and stared out in to the night. "Sirius, you're not to let her leave". He told the reflection of his friend.

"Remus!-" Tonks snapped

"_Tonks_," he warned as he finally gave in and turned to look at her beautiful eyes. "I can deal with them, they're only werewolves! And I mean what more can they do to me?" gesturing at himself and laughing bitterly, before quickly stopping. "Anyone else and I would let you go in guns blazing, but not with these _monsters" _he said the last word with utter disgust_._

Tonks held his gaze she could see he was begging her to go she gave a stiff nod he looked relieved and turned back towards the door. The others also turned to leave

Remus- Tonks cried, just as he was about to disappeared through the door he stopped looking over his shoulder at her "you're not a monster" she said simply before she gripped Hermione and Ginny's hands, and apperated

Remus smiled at the spot she had gone before letting his vision fill with amber and gold. _If only I could agree with you there Tonks_.

The cold and wind bit at his skin as if the weather wouldn't allow him to be warm, "Greyback!" he roared in to the amber coloured night.

"Where's the boy!" Greyback roared as he came in to the clearing to face him. "Or…" he thought for a second, "your girl, humm yes, she would be nice," he purred licking his lips.

Remus was disgusted he would die before Greyback got to any of them. "Confringor" Remus roared.

"Protego" Greyback said weakly "really Lupin you are going to have to do better than that" he spat "Transmogrifian" cried grey back Remus deflected it, just.

"Destrobras" roared Greyback the spell moved so fast Remus did not even have a chance to think, the spell hit his shoulder and collarbone ripping flesh from bone, and shattering bone so it stuck out of his collar at an odd angle. Remus roared in pain dropping to his knees, he had never even heard of the spell before.

"Crucio" bellowed Greyback quickly, (that one Remus had) he lunged to the out of the way but it caught his ankle, throwing him to the floor, stones and dirt plunged in to his open wound. Followed by excruciating, pain ripped through his body, burning his insides he struggled for breath, suddenly, as quick as it had come it was gone.

Remus clambered to his feet and bellowed, "elektriska!" Long electric, lightning bolts erupted from his wand wrapping around his enemy then exploded like a bomb around him, the force flung Remus to the floor he gritted his teeth as sharp stones cut open his back.

For a long few moments Remus laid flat on his back, listening to his ragged breathing as a sense of relief washed over him, Remus could no longer hear Greyback. Suddenly, he was snapped back to reality by a series of loud cracks. Members of the Ministry's Magical Law Enforcement appeared out of nowhere, immediately jumping into action. Most hurried over to Greyback's unconscious form, but five began to approach Remus where he lay, Before they could reach him, Remus hastily struggled to his feet and apparated with a sharp crack.

He collapsed on the steps of 12 Grimmauld Place, taking sharp intakes of breath as he looked down at himself. Thank Merlin, he thought numbly to himself, he was at least still in one piece after apparating! He pushed himself to his feet and lunged clumsily for the handrail as blackness began to invade his eyesight. With his vision waning, he took the first step. White spots dotted across his eyes, he could not take another, he would collapse, he was sure of it. Remus made a desperate dive for the door handle, wrenching the front door open before collapsing over the threshold. He hit the moth eaten carpet with a grunt of pain, before swearing loudly as his shredded collarbone was forced backward into his shoulder with an ugly crunch. All of a sudden, He was vaguely aware of doors flying open from somewhere up the hallway.

"Remus!" shrieked Tonks as at least six pairs of footsteps battered the floor surrounding him. The vibration hit his beaten body hard; he let out a groan as the floor seemingly shook beneath him.

"Please...stop...moving..." he gasped, gripping hold of the old rug that lay underneath him

"God man, where have you been? You're not 25 anymore you know!" Alastor's gruff voice was music to Remus' ears. The old Auror gave Remus' back a sharp tap with his wand, extracting the fragments of stone that had become painfully embedded in the battered flesh. He began to roll Remus over, only for the werewolf to begin coughing violently, blood splattering onto the carpet.  
"It's wonderful how you give me no warning, Alastor," Remus said weakly, once the coughing had subsided.

"I know it is." Alastor replied, finally flinging Remus onto his back. Remus gritted his teeth to keep himself from crying out, he heard someone shouting at the retired Auror but he couldn't make it all out.

Alastor cut open the rest of his shirt with a simple wave of his wand, much to Remus' dismay the Aurror ignored his protests and moved to examine his collarbone.  
"No," Remus gasped, gripping the older man's arm. "Leave that till last, I can't feel it, its fine. I think I've got eternal bleeding or...or something...focus on that." This time Alastor obeyed his request "Why, did you get thrown against too many walls?" Alastor joked gruffly trying to lighten the mood.  
"Sort of," Remus mumbled in reply, "but it's mostly a particularly nasty Cruciatus Curse."  
There was a sharp intake of breath at this news, but Remus couldn't help but laugh stiffly, "I've had worse"  
Suddenly, Remus cried out in pain, squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his hands until they turned white. Alastor was hovering over his collarbone muttering spells as it snapped back into place.  
"Remus! Can't you stay quiet for just a minute? Come on man, pull yourself together! You can moan and groan when your leg gets hacked off!" Alastor barked.

"How long are you going to bang on that drum? If you remember I was the one that had drag you to St. Mungo's and then go and find your bloody leg!"

"Yes, well if you were any good, you would have found it!" he grumbled

Remus couldn't believe it they were starting to sound like an old married couple. "I said leave it" he complained through gritted teeth. 

"Hang on, you said leave it until last. That was last!"  
"Oh, sod off" he muttered under his breath, clambering to his feet, grabbing the wall for support. He tried to move his newly fixed shoulder then flinching when it just lay limp, he began to stuff what remained of the corner of his shirt in to his mouth he bit hard down on the cloth as he popped his shoulder back in to place. He shuddered, he had always hated doing that but, that was the one thing the great Auror could not do. 

Remus looked down at his bare chest sighing as all his deep scares stared back at him anyone else would die for Remus lean, but muscular body however the scars spoiled it for him. He quickly remembered that he was not alone and wrapped his ripped shirt round himself trying to cover up his scared chest and whispered "Accio" but the blackness erupted in front of his eyes, again he slumping back against the wall gasping for breath.

"Here son," Alastor offered, and with a flick of his wand and a brief moment of silence a fresh, neatly folded shirt came zooming down the stairs towards them. Remus quickly shrugged of the old one and replaced it with the new one, giving the Auror a smile of thanks before setting off towards the kitchen when he remembered his jacket; Alastor had already put a charm on it so it was sewing itself back together.

Remus said another quiet word of thanks to the Auror, before he reached down, picked up his jacket, and slung it over his shoulder. He started to walk towards the kitchen when Sirius waved something in front of his face. Remus had to admit to himself that, right now, a bottle of Fire whiskey was incredibly appealing.  
"Oh, thanks Padfoot," he said, taking the bottle from Sirius with a small smile. He began to glug down the whiskey like it was water, only to grab hold of his friend to stop himself toppling backwards, still unsteady upon his feet. He set the bottle back in Sirius' hands. "I think that's enough for me for this year." he muttered, slapping Sirius' shoulder, only to grip hold of it for support. "I think it would be best if I went for a lie down" Remus decided letting his friend help him up the first few steps.

"You sure you can make it up there?" the black haired man asked, grinning.  
"Of course I can," Remus insisted, waving a dismissive hand in his friend's direction. He took another step, but then the blackness took his vision again. "No, I can't...Sirius, help!" he gasped as he slumped towards the floor, but Sirius caught him under his arms and dragged him up the stairs. When they got to the landing, Sirius asked:

"You all right in my room? It's closer." Sirius was beginning to struggle with the new weight an now Remus' knees were dragging along the floor behind them

Remus laughed.

"Yes, your room is fine." he wheezed. "I'll just have to fend off the dust bunnies for one night"

Sirius laughed at the thought of his friend being attacked by little dusty bunnies as he entered his room "see it's not that bad, only a thin layer of dust" Sirius reassured him as he lowered his friend gently down onto the bed.

"Thanks for looking after the kids Remus. I don't know what I'd do if something had… "He began, but then trailed off into silence.

Remus smiled weakly at him.

"It was nothing." He assured Sirius, trying to sound dismissive

Sirius sighed, quickly getting up to hide his face.

"See you tomorrow, mate." he whispered, as he turned off the light.

"Night Sirius." Remus mumbled back as the door swung shut behind his friend.


	3. Chapter 3

_ review! and i will love you forever_

**Chapter 3: Who the ****Hell? **

Remus got roughly out of bed the next morning, his body still stiff and sore from the night before. Luckily he was used to pain and as bad as it was, it was nowhere near as bad as the pain he felt the morning after the full moon. As Remus opened his bedroom door with a creek, something caught his eye. At his feet was a small brightly wrapped box. As he reached down to pick it up it burst open, sending streamers and mini fireworks shooting up towards the ceiling. A huge balloon floated up out of the box, pulling on the ribbon that held it down. Upon the balloon, in a curly script was written:

_Get well soon!_

_Tonks x_

Remus smiled and, reaching to pick up the box and balloon, went to put them on his bedside table. Then he proceeded to head downstairs, surprised when he reached the kitchen to find it deserted. Just when he thought he was alone a blur of pink hair appeared out of nowhere, leaping at him with arms open wide. Before Remus had quite realized just what was happening, he found himself caught in a bone-crushing hug that almost knocked him off of his feet.

"Remus!" Tonks squeaked, from somewhere buried in the front of his robes. She slowly shifted so that she was peering up at him. "I thought I'd lost you!" she whispered against his neck.

"It'll take more than a few Deatheaters!" he reassured her, hugging her back. He was glad she was alright, that she'd gotten away in time. He couldn't bear anything to happen to her, she made his life so much more exciting and he loved her for that.

"Thanks for the balloon!" he grinned, changing the subject as he unravelled himself from her grip.

"Oh that...it was nothing." she giggled, looking up at him. She looked very excited about something, Remus observed, and for Tonks that could only be a bad thing...

"Do you remember your promise?" she teased, just about balancing on her tiptoes, like she always did when she wanted something.

Remus racked his brains to remember what he had said, but nothing came to mind. When he didn't reply she supplied him with an answer:

"Your stars! You said you'd tell me how you got you stars!" she explained, looking as if it was obvious.

A wave of dread washed over Remus as realization of what she had just said came over him. Yep, whenever Tonks was excited it was a bad sign! He sighed, how could he get out of this?

"You really don't need to know..." he began, but she cut him off.

"Don't be stupid! Why shouldn't I know?"

Remus sighed heavily, he couldn't get out of this, not without an extreme amount of effort, and he just didn't have the energy. Just then he had a brilliant idea that was sure to distract her from the question.

"Oh alright" he heaved, slumping his shoulders "you go sit down I will make some tea"

Tonks beamed at him in return and skipped to the table

Minutes later, Remus returned with two cups of steaming tea, _time to put my plan in to action _he thought trying desperately hard to keep a devious smile off his face. As he approached the table his hands began to shake making the cups of tea clang together making its contents slosh over and slightly burn his hands.

Tonks looked up in alarm, "Remus! What's the matter?" She asked concern washing over her face

As if he had not heard her He reached up and pressed fingers to his temple with one hand the other gripped the table for support with the other and bowing his head to hide his face, as he quickly casting a silent spell to make his skin paler "it doesn't matter I'm fine" he wheezed

To his delight Tonks was at his side in a second, she laid a comforting hand on to his back.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! How stupid of me" You must still be really weak..."

Remus gave her a small smile and a little nod.

Tonks let out a small gasp "Remus you look-"

Remus eyes drew wide in horror _what if his spell had gone wrong?_ He was never _that _brilliant with wandless magic he could do simple things move candles, or conjure fire but changing his appearance was something he hadn't done in years and even then he had someone to teach him, Jade- a pain of guilt stabbed at his heart he hadn't thought of her in years and he should of.

He was pulled back to reality when he realised that he was being dragged away from the kitchen, and his breakfast!. Next, Tonks' babble reached his ears.

"Really Remus, you look terrible! You really should be in bed." Before Remus could protest, Tonks bellowed: "MOLLY!"

"Yes dear?" confirmed a voice from upstairs.

"Remus isn't feeling well! Can you make him something?" Tonks called as they reached the stairs.

A moment later, Molly appeared on the landing.

"Oh dear Remus, you do look terrible!" she said, worry creasing in to her brow. "I'll get straight on and make you my get well soup! It's a family recipe, you know..."

Remus remembered the horrible, grey gloop that Ron had been forced to eat at Christmas when he had a cough.

"NO!" the werewolf cried, a little more urgently then he had meant to. Clearing his throat quickly he added: "I mean that's not necessary, Molly. I'm sure you have lots to do..."

"Oh it's no trouble! I have a frozen batch in the larder, left over from when Ron had that deathly cough!" Molly replied as she headed towards the kitchen.

Before Remus could reply, Tonks dragged him up the stairs towards his room. If the world was being kind to him, he thought to himself as they reached the top of the stairs, this situation would be much like those saucy dreams he had been having, however the world was being pretty nasty to him right now, so he would have to live in hope.

To his disappointment, Tonks didn't kiss him madly, nor start ripping off his clothes as they entered his room. Instead, she tucked him up in bed with the covers tightly tucked under the mattress so he could barely move. Then she simply left.

Remus sighed and attempted to roll over, pulling at the covers. At least, with any luck, in his dreams Tonks would be there wearing a very nice set of lime green and pink poke-a-dot underwear...

Again to his disappointment, when he finally fell asleep, Remus discovered that his dreams were anything but Tonks-related.

_A cry of pain filled his ears__,__a __second__ later __the__ protective shield around the hostages fizzled out. Remus spun round to see __Jade kneeling__ on the floor__, clutching__ her stomach as blood seeped through her clothes__, out onto__ her pale__,__ shaky hands a Deatheater towering above her. The other __Deatheaters__ changed target from Remus to __Jade and __the unguarded hostages__, Raising __their wands __in sync they bellowed_ "_Avada Kedavra__!"_

"_No__!" Remus roared __thrusting out his hand towards her and the other to the hostages, creating a deep red spear around the hostages and another around jade, the death spells __met Remus' the __deep purple shield_

_One of __Deatheaters__ began to laugh__. _

_"__How long can you protect them, when __you are__ defenceless__?"__ he asked__,__ an evil gleam in his eye._

_Remus locked eyes with the __cloaked__ figure__, daring the cloaked man to act him "Long__ enough__" Remus hissed_

_The __Deatheater__ continued to laugh __at him. _

_"We'll__ see__."__ he said__,__ raising his wand__. "Crucio!"_

_Remus cried __out __in pain and squeezing his eyes tight shut __as his__ legs __buckled underneath__ him, his arms however remained out__-__stretched the shields only flickering but overall holding strong_

"_Remus__!" Jade__ shrieked as his body began to __convulse__ in protest__. In__ response Remus only increased his focus on the __shield. _

"_Goodbye,"__ he whispered __as __his __eyes snapped open revealing __deep amber__ pools__. _

"_No! You __can't, Remus, they're__ kill you__! No!" Jade__ begged...__ the rest of her words became a meaningless noise as the nightmare was slowly engulfed in blackness, until there was nothing. Suddenly, a blood churning scream exploded out of the silent blackness. The horrific noise didn't cease, ripping apart Remus' insides. His eyes shot open and flung himself in to a sitting position_

Remus sat bolt upright, gasping for air, his body coated in sweat and Jade's scream still rang in his ears. Knowing he would not be able to sleep for the rest of the night, he ripped off his duvet determined to forget the night's events.

In the darkness of kitchen Remus nursed a glass of fire whiskey. He could not believe that..._place_ had reared its ugly head, he had thought those scars had healed long ago, but those faces, Jade's cries...they had felt so real...

A sharp tapping disturbed his thoughts, looking down he discovered the source of the noise, his hand was shaking, knocking the crystal glass against the table. He gripped the glass harder in an effort to make it stop, but it didn't make a difference. Remus remembered how his arms had shaken uncontrollably that fateful night, too. Before he knew it, his whole body was shaking and the tapping had become louder as his knees rammed into the underside of the table.

"Remus?"

Remus jumped out of the chair violently, sending it toppling towards the floor. The sound didn't seem to register next second he had his wand drawn pointing at the figure in the doorway.

"Jade?" he asked uncertainly tightening his grip on his wand to try to stop his hand from shaking

"What? No! It's Tonks" she told him stepping towards him "Are you alright?" she asked noticing his shaking form as she came closer to the light that was pouring out of his wand.

She was wearing a pink tie-dye top, but in the dim light the pink looked as red as blood

"Jade you're bleeding!" he cried, rushing over to her.

"What? Remus I'm not..." Tonks began confused.

But he didn't hear Tonks, he only heard screams.

Under Remus' sweat drenched hand her clothing did feel wet...

_She's__ bleeding,_ she's dying, she's bleed-he thought, over the screams that bombarded his mind, He ripped off his t shirt and reached to press the material firmly against her skin.

"I've got you," he murmured hurriedly, heart hammering in his chest. "You're not going to die, I'll protect you, Jade, you're not going to..."

"Remus I'm not bleeding! And who the heck is Jade?" Tonks shouted, grasping hold of him by the shoulders and giving him a firm shake "what's wrong with you!"

Remus jumped back as if her voice had physically struck him.

"Tonks!" he stammered, hurriedly backing away from her. "I'm sorry I...I have to go..." And with that, he made a dash for the door.

"Remus, wait!" Tonks called after him, but he had already disappeared out of the door.

Tonks stood motionlessly, staring after him.

_What's__ happened to him? __What's__ wrong with him? She needed to know, she needed her Remus back not some broken one that's gone completely mental_

Who was Jade? She didn't have a clue, but she knew someone who might do...

Mere minutes later Tonks wrenched open the door to Sirius' room letting the light from the landing pour in

"Sirius?" She whispered, creeping into the room. A grown from the four poster bed answered her question.

"Sirius," she began, climbing onto the bed.) "Have you ever heard of a girl called Jade?"

"Hmm...Yes, loads of 'em..." Sirius replied sleepy.

Tonks punched him in the side.

"Ouch! What do you want?" he asked irritably, rubbing his side and heaving himself up into a sitting position.

"Do you know a girl called Jade? One who knows Remus?" she asked quickly.

Sirius thought for a long while, drumming his fingers on the bed's backboard and making the occasional popping noise with his lips.

"No," he said at last, "but he may have met her when I was in Azkaban. Try asking Moody."

"Moody? Okay then, thanks Sirius! Goodnight." Tonks whispered. She supposed she would have to wait till morning; she didn't dare wake Alastor Moody up in the middle of the night. He'd probably think she was some sort of intruder and before she could get a word out, she'd find herself turned into a ferret! She shuddered at the thought.

Tonks lay in bed, straining her ears for any sign that Remus had returned home. She stayed awake for several hours listening, and when sleep finally caught up with her she had yet to hear a sound.

The next morning Tonks woke up bright and early to be able to catch hold of Mad-Eye before he went to the Ministry. She quickly dressed and apparated to Alastor's house, just in time to see him closing his front door.

"Mad-Eye!" she shouted, hurrying down the garden path towards him. The old Auror waved at her, but didn't stop to talk.

"I'm late, we'll talk later!" he barked as he passed her. Tonks promptly turned to hurry after him.

"Mad-Eye, it's Remus..." she began, only for him to interrupt impatiently.

"What about him?" he asked, not slowing his pace.

"He keeps talking about a girl called Jade. Do you know...?"

She trailed off as he spun round to face her, alarm written upon his grizzled face. His lateness was seemingly forgotten as he demanded:

"Where is he?"

When she didn't reply he spun on the spot and with a crack like a whip he was gone.

Tonks was once again left standing motionlessly, with still no idea who this bloody Jade girl was!

* * *

ok you might think WHAT THE HELL but thats the point- just bare with me

and review i really really would like to hear some feedback for this one beacuse it was really hard to write with all that crazy stuff and without giving away too much

****so please tell us waht you think****

lots of love gelly

**oh and is it easy to read would u like me to change line spacing or anything**


	4. Chapter 4

_review! you know you want to ;)  
_

**chapter 4: Bad Memories**

Later that day, Tonks was in her room catching up on some paperwork. She had tried to get a file on Jade from the archives at work, but had been told it was classified and only Mad-Eye could take it out, however she had found out her full name, Jade Turner but that was it, so she had given up.

She had been in her room for a few hours when she heard noises in the next room,

_That's Remus' room!_

The Auror leapt to her feet and dashed towards the door of her room _I'll be able to hear them better on the landing_. But just as she grabbed the handle she heard something that stopped her in her tracks.

"You know," Alastor's gruff voice announced from what sounded like the other side of the wall, "Tonks was really worried about you today. Don't you think you should tell her?" forgetting her original plan, Tonks pressed herself against the wall to hear them better.

"No I don't," Remus' voice answered resolutely. "It would only upset her." He was, Tonks noted, quick to change the subject. "I should have buried these stars along with Turner."

The next second, there was a loud bang against the wall, causing her jump back in surprise.

"Okay," Alastor's gruff voice announced. "I think that's the last of them, now where do you want the pensieve?"

"Under the bed." came the muffled reply.

Alastor's barking laughter came though the wall.

"Come on," he said cheerily, "you need a drink."

Remus' light laughter followed them across the landing and down the staircase.

A Pensieve! That would give her all the answers. If Remus wasn't going to tell her what was happening, then she would find out for herself. He was not allowed to act completely mental and then expect her to just forget it.

When Tonks was sure the coast was clear she crept out of her room and, glancing around to make sure she really was entirely alone, reached to open the door to Remus' room before creeping inside.

Inside of Remus' room, Tonks discovered that nothing was out of place, except his bomber jacket which had been discarded on the floor beside the bin. She picked it up and buried her face in the fabric, breathing in deeply. The musty smell of his aftershave mixed with the smell of old books and chocolate made her heart flutter. Remembering she was on a mission she went to place the jacket on his bed but after a long moment for thought she pulled her arms through the sleeves and hugged the garment to her, imagining that it was Remus holding her like he had done at the Quidditch match only days ago, although it felt like a lifetime.

Dragging herself away from her daydream, Tonks went to retrieve the pensieve from under the bed. The old stone basin scratched at her fingers and upon gazing at the cold, silver liquid she felt a shiver run up her spine. She pushed her sense of uncertainly away, _this is where the answers are _she told herself even still She didn't feel right betraying Remus in his own room, so she took it back to her own.

Feeling much better back in the privacy of her own room, Tonks sat on her bed, all of Remus' secrets swirling around within the basin in front of her. It seemed to highlight all her feelings, nervousness, excitement, but most of all the guilt that attacked her in waves. Tonks took a deep breath and buried her head in the stone bowl.

The next thing Tonks knew, her feet were slamming down onto a hard wood floor, she stumbled, almost losing her balance, but just about managed to remain standing.

She took in her surroundings, the room in which she was standing was dimly lit. Through the darkness she could see a much younger Remus, sat in a battered armchair in the far corner of the room. He stared at the full glass of whiskey that he held in one hand, slowly swirling it before taking a gulp. Next to him, underneath a newly opened bottle, was a copy of the Daily Prophet. Tonks walked over to squint down at the headline:

_Werewolf tries to get custody of the Boy Who Lived._

"You tried to get custody of Harry?" she asked the younger Remus sadly, as she stared at the sorry scene before her.

Suddenly, Remus shot up from his chair and hurled his now empty glass at the wall. It shattered upon impact, the crash stifled by a loud crack as he apparated away.

And with that, Tonks was pulled from one scene and into another.

Her feet slammed down onto cold, muddy ground. The sound of waves crashed around her and rain lashed down upon her face. Tonks pulled Remus' jacket closer around her,

"Where are we?" she asked aloud, only to remember that nobody would answer. She wished Remus was there, he would wrap his arms around her, protecting her from the bitter cold and harsh winds.

"Land's End." whispered a voice from behind her, barely audible over the crash of the waves.

Tonks spun around in shock; and there he was, stood amidst the howling wind and piercing rain, her protector, her Remus.

She was so glad to see him that she wanted to run over to him and throw her arms around him, but then again...she wasn't sure. He had told her not to ask about his past and she knew how private it was. And she gone behind his back- hugging her would probably be the last thing he wanted to do right now.

_What if he never trusted her again?_

"Forgot my wallet." he explained, holding the item up for her to see, "and when I saw that my jacket wasn't, where I left it...well, I guessed you must have found it, and..." He trailed off into silence, shoving his hands into his pockets. Tonks bit her lip, rocking back on her heels.

_Well this is awkward_, she thought worriedly to herself. _Oh bugger...caught red handed...what am I supposed to say?_

To her relief, he beat her to it.

"I'm glad you're here, Tonks, I needed to face... this." he said, pulling his hands free from his pockets and spreading his arms out somewhat vaguely. "I couldn't bring myself to even remember it as a hazy, blur. Let alone watch every detail" he told her grimly.

"So...you're not mad? She asked hesitantly, wondering how he could be so calm.

"No, I'm not mad he sighed. Come here," he said, smiling as he began to walk towards her. Tonks didn't need to be told twice, ran in to his open arms.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have." she whispered, face pressed against his neck.

"No, I should have told you. It's just...these memories are filled with so much heartache...so much...death"

Suddenly, something twigged in Tonks' brain. "Land's end!" Tonks shrieked, as she spun around searching for the younger Remus through the bitter storm.

He was stood dangerously close to the edge, looking down at the deadly waves that roared below. She couldn't help it, she ran to him.

"Tonks' don't!" Remus cried as he ran after her.

Younger Remus threw angry questions out to the sea as if it would give him answers. He had acquired a new bottle of whiskey and took long deep swigs every few minutes.

"Why did you take them? Why not me? They had so much to live for!" he roared, his voice cracking ever so slightly.

When the sea offered no response, he turned his back on the waves and stalked angrily away, muttering under his breath. He took one last long deep swig of drink, until the amber liquid had completely drained away. He scowled at the bottle before throwing it down in disgust, where it smashed into thousands of tiny pieces. He took one final deep breath of cold sea air, turned around and ran straight towards the mocking cliff and its soul-crushing waves.

Tonks screamed as she realized what was about to happen, lunging towards him only for Remus to grasp hold of her before she could follow his younger self over the cliff.

"Tonks, Tonks! It's okay!" he gasped almost pulling her off the ground, as she tried to struggle free before giving in and stared in shock out into the ocean. Breaking her gaze she whirled round to face him.

"How the hell, can it be okay?" she shrieked. "You just..."

"But I didn't!" he corrected her

"You wanted to! _You wanted to die!_ You actually wanted... she snapped grasping hold of the front of his robes "oh Merlin" She murmured as her shoulders' slumped and rested her head against his chest My Remus wanted to..." her throat was too tight to continue.

"Oh Tonks..." Remus began, but his words melted away as a Sudden flash of apparition light appeared above them.

Tonks whipped round and younger Remus fell from the sky, gasping for breath. His body shook in fear as he clung to the waterlogged ground, as if it could disappear at any moment. He laid there, eyes tight shut until his breathing slowed to a normal pace.

Out of the storm a silver goat appeared in front of his shaken form. Its mouth opened and Mad-Eye's gruff voice boomed over the roar of the storm.

"Remus! Where the hell are you? I've got a mission for you!" Before adding a little more gently: "...to take your mind off...well you know, that nasty business..."

Younger Remus quickly scrambled to his feet, drawing in a deep breath and dragging his hands through his hair, before turning and apparating away.

The scene quickly dissolved before Tonks' eyes.

* * *

sorry its short!

ok hoped you liked it, the next chapter it will all become clear and the plot will thicken! but its taking my a while to get it all right so bear with me!

and do tell me what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

Ok sorry thus has been ages but this is the next chappy

Chapter 5: The start of a nightmare

* * *

As the memory materialized Remus and Tonks watched a young wizard, dressed in what looked like hand-me down Aurror robes, apparated in a blur of red and black cloth. There was an audible clunk from his heavy black boots as they slammed down onto the warm tarmac. Remus found himself on a narrow country lane surrounded by golden fields.

Against the glow of the setting sun, the silhouette of a young woman could be distinguished from the nearby trees. In a swish of long blonde hair and a soft smile, she greeted his arrival

"Remus! You came! I'm so glad that you did, I couldn't do this without you, this is a _nasty_ one." exclaimed the woman, stepping forward to give him a friendly hug.

Remus smiled, wrapping his arms around her as he said:

"When have I ever let you down, Jade? Anyway this is my "sport", as you normally put it." He chuckled as he released her and she smirked up at him.

"I don't know..." Jade began, but the rest of her words were drowned out as, from few feet away, Tonks rounded on the older Remus.

"Who the _hell_ is Jade?" She jabbed her finger in the other woman's direction, her eyes narrowing in disgust and the tips of her hair turning fiery red.

Remus never took his eyes off the blonde haired woman in front of him, as he spoke in a mournful whisper. "She was going to be transferred somewhere up North, somewhere quiet and safe. This was her last mission before she went." He laughed bitterly. "And before you ask, no we weren't involved, but her husband was a right dirt bag. She'd come into work covered in bruises saying she'd fallen over or something, but it was obvious what had really happened." He spat the last words out as if they had left a foul taste in his mouth, his hands balled in to tight fists.

Tonks had to refrain herself from flinched, for she felt quite shocked

"You said _was_, as in past tense. What happened to her?" she asked him as they watched the two young Aurrors sharing jokes and the week's latest gossip. When Tonks got no answer from the werewolf she turned expecting him to be next to her, but to her disappointment he was half way down the lane and had begun to blend in with the darkness _Bloody hell Tonks, _the pink haired Auror thought to herself,_ just go and stick your foot right in it, why don't you? _

When the darkness gave the Aurrors sufficient cover, Younger Remus and Jade headed up towards the house. Tonks followed them closely so closely in fact, that she kept walking through jade despite what Remus had told her, she still couldn't bring herself to care whether she walked through the woman or not, and besides, she didn't want to be left by another Remus- it was dark, there could be anything lurking in the shadows. The thought sent shivers down her spine and just to make sure she quickly snuck a look behind her, _darkness, but no monsters we're good._

As they walked up through the main gate the entire surrounding area were silent, not even the hoot of an owl could be heard. The only sound was the crunch of gravel beneath their feet. Tonks thought it was all a bit creepy, the silence made her feel uneasy, but she wasn't going to admit it because it didn't do for an Auror to get scared, and besides, she didn't want Remus to think she was a wimp.

As the group approached the cream coloured house, they noticed that it had seen better days. The battered black door was nearly off its hinges, and all the windows had been smashed. None of the lights were on and it was dark inside. Remus and Jade looked at each other before instinctively taking out their wands.

They proceeded to creep cautiously inside, Remus in front, their wands lit up the rooms they passed though, the hall seemed relatively undisturbed, but as they moved in to the living room the true extent of the damage became apparent. The wallpaper had been torn or burned off of the walls, leaving black scorch marks upon the plaster. The only other light other than their wands was from the little moon light leaking though the broken windows, and the cream carpet appeared to be splattered with blood stains and was ripped in places. Something caught Jade's eye as it gleamed in the wand light. Bending down, she picked it up she found herself looking at a diamond encrusted earring, a lock of chestnut brown hair knotted around it. She sighed before placing it gently down upon the coffee table.

Jade began to make her way towards the next room, only to be stopped when Remus stuck out his arm to stop her.

"They're here. Four of them, the family's upstairs." he warned, his eyes deep amber, Tonks remembered them being that colour at the Quidditch match, it made her shudder. Remus took the lead towards the next room, and as she followed Tonks was sure that she could hear the sound of ragged breathing.

They soon found the staircase; it was dark and gloomy, with tall walls surrounding both sides. Even with the light of their wands they could not make out the landing above. But even Tonks could smell a thick stench of blood around them. Jade quickly knelt down and set a _Muffliato_ charm upon the stairs and proceeded up towards the landing, Remus following silently behind her.

At the top of the stairs a sturdy oak door was revealed by the wandlight, and Jade quickly set about carefully checking the doorway for harmful spells, quietly muttering to herself and placing her wand against the frame. She stood back for a few seconds, as though considering what to do next, before reaching out and grasping the door knob. But no sooner had her fingers closed her around the shiny brass handle, she jerked them backwards in alarm, letting out a small squeak of pain.

As Tonks watched Jade look down at her hand, Tonks could see a large circular burn upon the witch's palm. Instantly, the sound of voices erupted from behind the door.

Within seconds, Remus had shoved his colleague to the side and, with a sharp swipe of his wand, blasted open the door. There came a cry of pain from within, as the door splintered, sending shards of wood flying in all directions.

However, this small victory was short lived, as in the blink of an eye the two Auroras were propelled backwards into the air. They were seconds from hitting the bottom of the stairs when Remus managed to grab his partner around the waist, and in a roar of ghostly wolves and white mist they were gone.

Half a second later, the pair reappeared at the top of the stairs. Instantly, Jade sent a barrage of spells shooting out of her wand. They lit up the house as they streaked forward, striking a number of cloaked men who were inside of the room, sending them hurtling into walls and tumbling to the floor. Tonks could only assume that they were Death Eaters, though they were not wearing the trademark, sinister masks.

Tonks took the following few moments of silence that descended upon the scene, to fire questions at the older man stood next to her.

"How the _hell_, did you do that? That wasn't apparition!" she exclaimed, jabbing a finger in the direction of the stairs.

Remus sighed. He had been wondering when these questions would come up.

"Jade taught me...or at least help me to learn." At Tonks' puzzled expression he explained further: "Her family owned a whole archive of old and forgotten magic. Of course it was well hidden away; the power in some of those books could bring the world to its knees! But anyway, it was like a free pass to Honeyduke's factory for me. One day we came across this ancient book, it described a sort of transportation, but for werewolves. They had developed it back in the Middle Ages, when werewolf hunting was all the rage, a sort of escape mechanism. I think Jade and I were the only ones who knew such a power existed."

"So your amber eyes…?" Tonks began, and Remus nodded.

"All thanks to the books." he told her. "But there's a price, I have to let the wolf gain some control to use them, and the longer the wolf is in control the harder it is for me to regain it."

Suddenly, they were pulled back to the scene as someone screamed in fright. Inside the room the two men had recovered from Jade's spells and had quickly pointed their wands towards a group of people...hostages Tonks guessed...who were sat upon the floor. But the men's eyes were locked on Jade and Remus, who where just outside the doorway, using it as cover.

"Put down your wands or they die!" one Death Eater snapped, and it was clear they had not a flicker of concern for their hostages' lives. However, despite the threat neither Remus nor Jade lowered their wands. Instead, Remus hissed:

"Plan B?" and Jade gave a sharp nod, never taking her eyes of the men.

Without waiting another second, Remus dashed into the room and took cover behind an over turned bookcase.

The next second the Death Eaters' attention had returned to the hostages.

"_Avada Kedavra!" _they roared, bright green jets of light soared towards the family. The older male of the group pulled his wife and child behind him to shield them from certain death.

The green jets of light was inches from their targets when quite suddenly they was absorbed by a deep purple shield that had abruptly burst into existence. Tonks let out a gasp of surprise and quickly scanned the room for its cause. Jade, who was still hiding beside the doorway, had complete focus on the shield, refusing to even blink, her wand out of sight and using only her hand to control the magic.

To Tonks' amazement, Remus calmly called:

"You got them?"

Older Remus gave a small chuckle at Tonks' expression.

"The books." he reminded her.

"Hang on!" Tonks cried, rounding on the werewolf next to her. "She's not using a wand! Why is she not using a wand?"

Remus smiled.

"I wondered how long it would take you to notice that little detail. She's not using a wand because the spells were not designed for wand use, you have to remember that in the Middle Ages wands were little more than sticks, so many didn't bother to use them until much later." he explained. "Anyway, you're supposed to be watching this, not quizzing me!" he laughed.

Tonks smiled and turned back to the scene before her,

The Death Eaters seemed to not have noticed the cause of the mysterious magic, instead they had their full attention on Remus who could just be seen behind the bookcase.

The next second, spells in quick succession rained down towards him and in a haze of color Remus flattened himself behind the bookcase, before choosing to retaliate. During a slight lull in the attack, he took precise aim over the top of the bookcase, blasting the two men off their feet and hurling them in to the back wall. When they did not try to get up, Remus quickly got up from his space on the floor and called to his partner.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked in a much lighter tone than before, as he strolled towards the hostages.

Tonks stifled a laugh at Younger Remus' quick mood change. She looked up at the man beside her, a light insult about to leave her lips, however it quickly died at his expression. Older Remus was staring at the ceiling above him, a hand covering his mouth, the other hanging clenched into a tight fist.

Dread washed over Tonks, knowing from Remus' face the worst was yet to come. She spun back round to face the scene before her, just as a cry of pain pierced the air from outside of the room. The smile upon Younger Remus' face instantly vanished. Seconds later, the protective shield around the hostages fizzled out. Remus spun round to see Jade knelt on the floor, holding her stomach as blood seeped through her clothes onto her pale shaky hands, a third Deatheater stood above her. Before Remus could even take out his wand the Death Eater bellowed:

"_Avada Kedavra!"_ In quick succession he had sent a couple of deadly green spells shooting through the air. One was zooming towards the unguarded hostages, and the other was heading straight towards Jade.

* * *

Hope u liked it please give us a review and tell us what you thought =)


	6. Chapter 6

Ok sorry guys for not updating in like years! But I will try and finish this soon if anyone's is still reading it lol

Chapter 6: Taken

* * *

"No!" Remus roared as he spun around to face Jade, thrusting out a hand towards her, the other towards the hostages.

The next few moments passed like an eternity. The deadly spells ripped through the air, twisting and knotting together as they shot ever closer to its victims

Meters away from their intended targets the spells began splinter and crack as it hit an invisible force. As it did so Sparks of purple and gold began to appear and multiply, until the small sparks became a thick purple, shimmering wall, which prevented the spells from further destruction.

Relief flashed across the werewolf's face before it became hard in concentration. Tonks watched in horror and pride as the younger Remus stood wandless in front Deatheaters, and not showing a shred of fear. However she knew this could not end well, and stepped closer to the older man next to her as if he would just fade away if his younger self was injured.

One of the Deatheaters let out a small gasp and staggered back against the wall, the other looked furious at his partner's weakness gripping his wand harder. He scowled at the man in front of him, until suddenly his expression change completely his eyes lighting up and letting out a small, mocking chuckle.

Tonks' blood ran cold as she realized what he was looking at or what he wasn't- the younger Remus had no wand! It was still tucked away in the folds of his robs.

"How long can you protect them, when you're defenseless?" the man asked as he began pacing round Remus like a shark and its prey.

In response, Remus locked eyes with the clocked figure following his movements "long enough" he told him.

The Deatheater continued to laugh "we'll see" he hissed as he raised his wand "Crucio" he snapped as he quickly twisted round to face the werewolf

Remus cried in pain and legs bucked from under him, his arms however remained out stretched but he couldn't stop the magic from withering slightly. Tonks had seen this gruesome spell's affect a hundred times, but she still let a small gasped and gripped the old werewolf's hand in comfort, he instantly returned the gesture, clinging to her like his life depended on it.

"Remus!" Jade choked as she tried to stand but the movement only disturbed her wound, making fresh blood seep through her clothes, Remus' eyes widened in horror as he saw her.

Tonks knew he would have to do something soon before it was too late. He seemed to realize this too, as he seemed to forget all about the Deatheater and focused all his attention on his colleague and the hostages. As he did, the solid purple shield began to crumpled back to a lilac mist spinning faster and faster around them, his body began to shake in protest and his turned a pasty white and aged, his eyes became tried and droopy until they were almost full closed, he looked like all his energy was being drained away. Just when Tonks thought he would surly pass out his eyes snapped open, revealing a deep amber centre.

"Goodbye" he whispered a growl mixing with his normal kind voice.

"No! You can't, _they're kill you_, Rem-" but before jade could say anymore the mist engulfed her, and a second later she was gone.

Back in the house, Remus staggered forward and the memory came in and out of focus until it was almost black with only flashing burs, there was a small thump and the last thing Tonks heard was a muffled "tie him up" then everything went black…

A new scene quickly formed; a small dark room, the walls were bare brick and the floor was dusty concrete the surroundings consisted of piles of unwanted or broken objects, amongst this was a washed out, form. Tonks' eyes widened in horror as she recognized the crumpled figure on the floor.

Remus slowly awoke in a cellar. And to make things worst there was no indication of how much time had passed. As he became more aware, he felt a numb throbbing in his arm. Looking up he saw why. He had been shackled to a rusty pipe that ran along the wall, before disappearing through a small hole in the ceiling.

He quick tried to pull himself free but the pipe didn't budge, he then set about fumbling through his pockets searching for his wand he realized it was gone. One thing was obvious about his situation– Remus was not getting away easily.

A noise brought Remus' attention away from his surroundings. A man, with a completely shaved head and dressed in robes, was walking towards him. He smiled when he noticed Remus was awake. He kneeled to Remus' eye level and asked in a slimy voice "Where's the potter kid?"

"I don't-" Remus began but his words were suddenly silenced as a he clenched his jaw and scrunched his eyes closed as pain ripped up his leg.

Tonks gasped in shock as she realized what had happened, the man had shattered his ankle with some short of spell.

"DON'T play games with me! We know, you know where he is" the man snapped as he thrust a picture at Remus, he recognized it as the picture that he kept in his wallet one of Sirius, harry, James and himself at Christmas. The memory still stung.

"Now I'll ask you again, where is the boy who brought the Dark Lord to his knees?" the man hissed as he crumpled up the photo and let it drop to his feet, making sure it was just far enough away so that Remus couldn't reach it.

_Sod it_ Remus thought _bones can be mended_ "register number 4763, Auror department 3" he spoke out clearly and calmly. It earned him a particular nasty Cruciatus Curse**.**

"you wanna play?" The man growled "let's see if you can last longer than the Longbottoms'" as he flicked his wand releasing Remus's arm from the handcuff.

After several attempts to get Remus to talk he was left alone, collapsed in exhaustion and pain on to the cold concrete floor with sweat slowly rolling down his face he shook uncontrollably.

"I'll never forget what they did to me". The real Remus mumbled under his breath. He was surprisingly calm for having re-watched what was probably one of the worst experiences of his life.

Tonks however, was not calm, and was trying desperately hard not to throw up.

The horrors dissolved before them.

The next scene was in an entirely different setting, one Tonks new well, the Auror's department at the ministry the office. It was packed with people, the glass evidence board was filled with pictures of the suspected house that Remus and jade had visited earlier, a huge map of the surrounding area and four mug shots of suspects, around the room the phones were ringing off the hook. In the middle of the room mad–eye looked as if he could kill someone any second now.

Suddenly the door of the department was wrenched open and the Minster for Magic strode in to the chaos "Moody! A word" he boomed over the noise.

Mad-eye gave a stiff nod and proceeded towards his office at the other end of the room.

Mad-eye slammed the door behind him making the glass shake and drew the blinds before sitting down and asking "what's the matter minster?"

What's the matter? He repeated in disbelief "my entire force is on the case of finding some, bloody werewolf! Instead of keeping scum of the streets!" he roared. His hands gripping the back of his chair as if he was about to rip it apart

"Minister, this is not just some werewolf as well you know, this is a fellow Auror member" mad-eye snapped back without any regard for the authority in front of him

"Don't make me laugh Alastor, I won't deny that Mr. Lupin is a skilled wizard and asset to the team, but he is NOT an Auror he boomed as he abandoned his grasped on the chair and stormed over to face mad-eye "AND only here because you wished him to be so! You have three days to get more evidence, or bring back a body!" he continued as he grasped the door knob and ripped it open and let it swing back hit the file cabinet with a crash causing the room of Aurors to look up at the commotion. Moody growled an "understood Minster" And turned on his heel and exited the room as the door slammed behind him.

Mad-eye let out a long sigh and rain a hand through his dirty blond hair "where are you Remus?" he grumbled to himself

The scene faded away

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Ok what did u think sorry its bin ages but I've had a bit of time and I thought I'd look at this, I do intend to finish it but don't expect a weekly up date lol

gelly


	7. Chapter 7

wow well im so sorry for like never updating and i found this still on my pc so i thought y not ill have a go at it again so hopefully i can FINALLY finish it if anyone is still reading this im impressed coz i have been a very bad writer and like never up dated - but i hope you like it =)

Chapter 7: Trauma

Their feet slammed on to the cold and unfortunately, all too familiar concrete. The room was pitch black or so Tonks thought; every so often bright lights would flash on and off, making sleep almost impossible.

In the flickers of light she could see some time had passed since there last visit. But Remus was still chained up and now supporting thick stubble, his clothes were like rags and they hung off his skeletal body.

On the up side, his ankle had been healed. Then Tonks noticed small scratches in the wall, pity washed over her as she realized they represented days, she counted them 28 days.

Suddenly, his tired eyes shot up and for a second Tonks thought he could see her but that was impossible, seconds later the door was wrenched open and the same bald man stood at the door. Tonks had an overwhelming urge to punch this guy for what he had done to her Remus. But he just stepped though her as if she were a ghost.

"Are you willing to talk yet?"

Remus gave no response

The man smirked at him "you know we found out what you are, werewolf. Purva" he hissed.

A moment later, deathly screeches filled his sensitive ears, he tried to cover them but his shackles forbade it. The agonizing, screeching refused to stop until Remus felt hot liquid in his ear drums.

When it finally stopped the man spoke again but Remus heard no sound over the ringing that remained in his ears.

"Another interesting fact about werewolves is their vulnerability to silver" the man repeated as he produced a small vile, full of the swimming metal. Pain and weakness washed over Remus' face, and as the man stepped forward, his captive began to thrash against his restraints and desperately tried to scramble to his feet but it was hopeless the shackles held tight, as they cut into his flesh. The man grabbed the werewolf by his hair, wrenched his head back and uncorked the bottle with his teeth.

The last thing Tonks heard was a soul crushing "please" that the werewolf whimpered before the older Remus grabbed her by the arm and roughly yanked her out of the memory causing her to stumble backwards on to her bedroom floor. Where she had no intension of moving, instead she clutched her legs to her chest and silently sobbed as Remus violently vomited in her a joining bathroom. Tonks stayed like that until she had just about gathered herself and the vomiting had subsided. But with still no sign of Remus she dragged herself up and coarsely she entered her bathroom. Remus was lent up against the wall with most of his weight leaning on the toilet with one hand still grasped on to it, his skin white and his eyes drawn, slightly red and hollow he didn't seem to register her presence. Without a word she joined him on the cold floor, her closeness made his hands shake and panic as he tried to form words but seemed to have forgotten how, and instead only alarmed mumblings left his lips. She grasped his hand to try and cease its uncontrolled movement and tried to sooth him with soft quite words of reassurance.

They stayed like that until he had relaxed and colour returned to his face. Just when Tonks thought the situation was improving, Remus staggered to his feet and left without a word, leaving Tonks on the floor dumbstruck at his untimely exit. She didn't know how long she stayed starring at the door the werewolf had just vanished through, before she fell asleep. However her awaking was anything but pleasant.

"Tonks!" Alastor snapped sharply, interrupting her light sleep. "what do u think you're doing with that pensieve?" he demanded as Tonks registered that this was not actually a dream she let out a small gasp and quickly scrambled to her feet and hurried towards her bedroom, as she tried to flatten down some of her hair and wake herself up so she could have some kind of cognitive conversation.

When she laid eyes on her former mentor she had never seen him look angrier but before she could say anything, he began again "do you have any idea what horrors are in there! How dare you drag all that up for that man! You stupid girl! Does he know you have it?" he boomed.

Tonks could only nod as she tried desperately to hold back the tears that were pooling in her eyes Madeye sighed heavily at the sight of her spun on the spot and grabbed the pensieve off the bed and strode towards the door just as he grasped the door handle Tonks blurted out "how did you find him?"

We found him strung up like a piece of meat and beaten to an inch of his life he replied grimly before exiting the room.

Tonks was ready to fall to pieces once more after the way her mentor had spoken to her, but she took a deep breath and sternly promised herself that she would fix this awful mess she had made. She exited her room after a 20 minute mixture of pep talks and fresh clothes. The landing was deathly quiet and a quick ear to Remus' door told her he was already up, if he had gone to bed at all. As she entered the kitchen she felt tension wash over her, Sirius was stood next to the counter still in grey pajama pants and a red bath robe, he was holding a bowl of cereal and a coffee was place on the counter in front of him. His eyes flicked to her as she entered but they quickly flicked back to the man in front of him, she followed his gaze; Remus who had obviously not slept was still in last night's clothes and was sat at the far end of the table with an empty whisky bottle to his right and a fresh one in his hand.

"Hi" Tonks whispered barely audible as she stepped towards the werewolf "Remus, I'm so sorry this is entirely my fault"

His eyes snapped to her as he took another swig of the bottle "you always have to push it, don't you? You never can just leave things be!" He snarled causing Tonks to visibly flinch, he had never looked so wolf like and she had to fight the urge to step backwards

With Tonks almost in tears Sirius stepped in "I think you've had enough mate!" he snapped sternly glaring at his old friend

In response the werewolf snatched up the empty bottle beside him and hurled it at his friend, to Tonks embarrassment she let out a small scream and ducked, Sirius dived out of the way of the incoming object sending his half empty bowl crashing to the floor, the bottle smashed in to the cupboards behind him showering the counters with shards of glass.

There was a sharp scrape of a chair along the floor before it clattered to the ground as Remus stormed towards the door, Tonks had had enough! She picked her dignity off the floor and scrambled to her feet, just in time to block the werewolves exit. "What the hell is wrong with you!" she demanded, her hair fiery red as she intercepted every movement he made to pass her "look I know I've screwed up-" she began

"I don't want to hear it Tonks" he hissed

She opened her mouth to retaliate, but he beat her to it "move!" he snapped, glaring down at her with menacing amber eyes, his teeth seemed longer and sharper as he practically snarled at her, shocked she didn't react as he barged passed her and out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

ok im back guys hope you like this one your thoughts are much appreciated

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Chapter 8: A Quickened heartbeat

It had been two weeks since Tonks had last spoken to Remus. If she was being honest, she had been avoiding him as much as possible. _yeh right! For the first two days maybe_, an inner mocking voice that sounded surprisingly like Sirius, snapped back at her, _but you had to be all melodramatic and change your shifts, Emmeline Vance is so dull! Oh and while we're on the subject your cooking is crap! _

She shook her head forcing out the voice once again, trying to focus on her dilemma; she had wanted to skive tonight's Order meeting, like she had with the last two. However Madeye had noticed her absence, and had sent her a rather nasty howler.

It was Tonks' first day off in what felt like years and she was taking full advantage. She had been out the night before, and drunkenly stumbled through the door at around 3am, it was now close to one in the afternoon, she was still fast asleep unaware of the eagle owl that had just flown in through her bedroom window. As if the scarlet letter registered the state of its recipient, it floated off the desk and hovered over Tonks' sleeping form before erupting.

"Nymphadora Tonks!" Madeye's voice boomed inches away from her face. Tonks screamed and threw herself away from the sound, falling out of bed, taking a discarded glass of water with her, drenching her bedside table and all its contents.

Unconcerned with the witch's state of panic, Madeye's voice continued to rant "what do you think you have been doing!? Where is your constant vigilance! You're an Auror for goodness sake! – start acting like one!" The letter was thrashing about so much she was sure it would rip. The witch was so stunned she didn't seem to notice the water that was now slowly dripping on her from the pool on her bedside table or the slight chill in the air as she sat on the floor in just her bra and knickers with last night's makeup still smudged across her face.

"Get up!" It thundered as if it could sense the lack of action. Tonks didn't need telling twice she leapt up, grabbing her now drenched belongings along with a t-shirt and jeans that was strewn over her desk chair, before heading for the bathroom as the howler continued to follow her "and get your behind down to headquarters! Before I have to-" the rest was drowned out as she slammed the door on it.

* * *

So as a result of earlier events, she had arrived early at headquarters, cracked out the red wine and was blasting music through her headphones in order to forget the whole stream of unfortunate events that had lately bestowed her life, her latest downfall, she was now hiding from not one, but both Madeye and Remus in the deserted library, at this she took another swig from her glass.

On reflection however, she decided that the library although quiet, was not the best place to go when avoiding a book addicted werewolf, as he wandered in tea in hand, just as Tonks was pouring her third glass of wine.

"oh Tonks" he began surprised, however with no acknowledgement, he stepped further in to the room taking a sip of tea "Ton-" he tried again only to be drowned out as the woman in question roughly snatched up the now mostly empty wine bottle, and began to sing "Don't you wanna stay here a little while?"

Supressing wince he noticed the iPod on the table, smirking he stepped closer.

Tonks continued "Don't you wanna hold each other tight?" Her eyes were closed and her face quite serious as she gripped the bottled close to her lips "Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonig-" her eyes flung open as she registered she was no longer alone, her cheeks going a slightly lighter shade than her wine, when she laid eyes on her intruder.

"Remus!" she said startled as she dropped the bottle down on the table and ripped out her headphones, and if it was possible, her face turned even redder as the low muffle of her iPod could still be heard, she spun back around and jabbed the buttons of the device until it was quiet.

"hi" he replied awkwardly "I was just getting my book" his eyes flicked to the book resting on the chair opposite Tonks which was almost completely buried under her abandoned coat and bag.

Tonks made some sort of shrilled noise before leaping up and shoving her discarded belongings to the side and extracting the book "there you go" she said smiling a little, as she placed the book in his awaiting hands.

"Ermm, thanks." He said a little uncomfortably, as he headed for the door. His actions of their last meeting an all too clear and disturbing memory "Sorry to disturb-"

"Oh you're alright! She trilled a little too enthusiastically. Clearing her throat she tried to sound a little more normal "Did you wanna stay?" she asked her eyes flicking to the couch he normally spread out on.

He eyed the threadbare sofa Longley his patch work blanket still thrown over it before shaking his head and releasing a small sigh "no, I've disturbed you enough already" he replied sadly as he begun to exit the room

"But I want you to stay!" she blurted out desperately, her voice slurred with alcohol

Guilt washed over him as he gripped the door handle. He wanted to go to her, to hold her and drink in her zesty lime Shampoo. But the utter fear in her eyes from their last encounter held him back, keeping his hand firmly on the handled and kept his pace swift as he exited the room because he was a monster no matter what she or anyone else said, he had lost all control and his demons had taken full advantage.

Chest fallen she watched him go "fine" she snapped as the door slowly clicked shut. She grasped her bottle of wine and finished it in a few large gulps before tossing it in the nearby bin. The room was no longer the welcoming sanctuary she had pursued only a few hours ago, it was cold and dreary despite the cracking flames of the fire.

She checked her watch, only half an hour before the meeting began sighing she slumped back down in her chair and summoned something stronger than wine

* * *

Later that evening, all the order members trooped in to the kitchen for their weekly order meeting. "Is this seat taken?" Emmeline Vance asked the werewolf sweetly nodding towards the vacant chair beside him. Remus pulled his attention away from the quiet discussion he was having with Sirius to look at the brown haired, lanky woman "no I don't think so" he replied smiling before turning back to his friend.

Just as Emmeline was about to pull out the chair Tonks hand clamped on the back of the chair "I'm sitting here" her voice so slurred it was little more than a mumble "sorry" she added quickly as she became aware just how hard she was latching on to the chair in order to keep herself upright.

The woman glared at her before she spun round and marched away muttering "drunken, insolent, little…" Tonks ignored her as she flopped in to the chair "wotcha guys!" she beamed at the pair

"Hey Tonks, upholding the family name I see" Sirius snickered

Tonks glared at him and opened her mouth to retaliate when Remus cut her off "shush, it's about to start! And next time Tonks please drink after the meeting, you stink of vodka" he hissed without taking his eyes off Alastor as he began the meeting. "There seems to be increased activity up north and Manchester…"

Tonks couldn't care less "yeh well, whose fault is that?" she snapped back at him but he didn't seem to hear her, she scowled at him and returned to barely listening to the meeting.

Remus was ashamed to say he took very little in at the meeting, and now resorted to absently-minded nodding and agreeable mumbles as his full attention was focused on the soft slender hands in front of him. _where they always that close? Had anyone else noticed their hands were mer millimeters away from each other, a small twitch of a finger and they would be touching._ He did a quick scan of the room, there seemed to be only two types of people around him, ones that sat bolt upright drinking in every word or franticly scribbling, and those like the man sat beside him who was interested in anything but the meeting, with his eyes slowly fluttering close before snapping open as Alastor raised his voice for atmospheric effect.

_No._ he concluded no one had any interest in the proximity of their hands expect for himself and possibly Tonks but he wasn't even sure of that. He should be glad, she shouldn't get involved with him anyway, but it still stung all the same. He slid his hand away under the table. But to his surprize, she had noticed his gaze and after a slight hesitating she slowly entwined their hands under the table

Remus could have kicked himself as his heartbeat raced, an uncontrolled smile twitched on his lips and his thumb began to stroke her soft skin. When he did regain control of his limbs how could he stop without hurting her, he had already done enough of that lately. "Do you want a cup of tea" he asked quickly as he began to rise, she shook her head unable to hide her disappointment. _Bloody idiot!_ A small voice in his head snapped at him.

When he returned the meeting was almost over one last order of business we've just been informed that there will be a death eater recruitment rally will take place in the next few days.

"Nymphadora, Kingsley, I want you two as Aurors to take charge of the situation, whilst the rest will be your back up, if you need it…" Moody continued to discuss arrangements and thankfully Tonks was distracted while Remus hands stayed wrapped around his tea. And before he knew It, all was agreed and the meeting was adjourned.

Sirius gave a start as the scraping chairs ripped him from his sleep and muttered something about feeding Buckbeak as Alastor barked at Tonks "a word"

Remus took this opportunity to quickly wash his cup and dash out the door. But to his disappointment there was a pile of dirty plates and dishes in the sink. He could have just left his cup precariously on top and such an idea did cross his mind, however, he soon found himself deep in hot soapy water scrubbing plates clean.

Her voice made him jump as he emptied the now murky water "you didn't have to do all that you know"

"I'm not scared of a little washing up" he replied smiling as he dried his hands and turned to face the pink haired witch

After what fell like an eternity of silence, he abruptly broke the quiet "I'm sorry" he said feebly, dragging a tired hand through his hair "it was close to the full moon and I'd used those stupid spells! He continued desperately, "I used to be able to control it- but Alastor's right, I'm not 25 anymore." He let out a tired sigh "you deserve better-"

"Don't start with that!" She snapped as she closed the distance between them and grasped the front of his robes "I don't want anyone else" she whispered she could smell his aftershave she gave a small smile it was the one she had bought him. He had to grip the sink behind him to stop himself wrapping his arms around her.

"Tonks don't" he pleaded without looking at her "we can't, it's not safe, I won't risk it" he finish as he finally gave in and gazed in to her eyes willing her to understand

She totally disregarded everything he had just said to her, and closed the gap between them. The kiss slow at first and slightly uncertain, but he pulled her closer, she wrapped her arm around his neck and a hand snaked up in to his hair, deepening the kiss. They broke off for air and he continued to plant kisses down her neck, smiling against her skin as she let out a small moan. And before he could stop himself he had her in his arms and deposited her on the edge of the sink with a clatter of pots and a shriek of gleeful laughter as she wrapped her legs around him, pulled out his shirt to touch his skin and continued the kiss.

Just as her heart was hammering against her chest, he ripped himself away. And in surprize she had to grip the sink tapes to stop herself falling backwards in to the basin, to her horror he was backing away apologies tumbling out of his mouth as he tried to right his dishevelled appearance.

She could have thrown a plate at him as she caught him say "you should get to bed, you need your rest for that mission" as he exited the room

Still perched on the sink she shouted after him "I don't want to sleep! I want you to kiss me" but she could not wipe the smile from her face or keep the thrilled excitement out of her voice.

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ok hope you liked it please give us your thoughts xx


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